Lauren and Niko are joined by special guest Ezekiel Kweku (@theshrillest) to discuss David and Bathsheba, Uriah the Hittite, Absalom’s glorious hair, Joab’s breakup speech, and everything else in the book of 2 Samuel. Plus: mighty men, and the Andersons, who have tickets to the game.
Lauren and Niko discuss Samuel and the voice of God, golden tumors and rats, King Saul the tall, confused timelines, little boy David and big boy Goliath, Doeg of Edom, and the Witch of Endor. Plus: the first sports mascot in history and the dangers of getting your robe snipped.
Niko and Lauren tackle the book of Ruth, including mothers-in-law, daughters-in-law, ancient dating advice, kinsman-redeemers, finding true love on the threshing floor, and more Biblical euphemisms. Plus: a weird story about Judah, Tamar, and Onan that didn’t make it into the Genesis episode.
Lauren and Niko discuss left-handed Benjamites, Deborah and Jael, Gideon (but not Gideon’s Bible), Samson and Delilah’s adventures in bondage, who’s battling Israel this week, and Sodom and Gomorrah part two. Plus: the most disturbing violence in the Bible thus far and a phone call to fellow Sunday school dropout Chris Stroop.
Niko and Lauren tackle the book of Joshua, including crossing the Jordan, the walls of Jericho, buried treasure, the Gibeonite deception, and divvying up the Promised Land. Plus: a quiz about names of Biblical towns and circumcision, always circumcision.
Lauren and Niko welcome J. W. Friedman, host of I Don’t Even Own a Television, onto the podcast to discuss the book of Deuteronomy. Learn all about the defeat of King Og, the paradox of moneylending, the death of Moses, and how to bring Judaism into the 21st century. Plus: amazing Biblical euphemisms and what to do about your brother’s ass.
Niko and Lauren take on the book of Numbers, including cubits of quail, censuses, a race of half-angels, silver trumpets, how to tell if your wife is cheating on you, a red heifer, a talking donkey, tricky Moabite women, and what to do when you’re sick of eating manna. Plus: a “special problem” and a segment on Biblical names.
Niko and Lauren discuss the book of Leviticus, including how Aaron’s sons got burnt, how to purify your house the Biblical way, Jewish holidays, kosher eating, sex, blood, and so much more. Plus: the medical establishment’s perspective and a trip to Lauren’s weird VHS hell.
Lauren and Niko discuss the book of Exodus, in which Moses leads his people out of Egypt and into the desert. Highlights include the burning bush, the plagues of Egypt, the Passover story, the parting of the Red Sea, the Ten Commandments, and the golden calf. Plus: weird magic tricks and blinged-out priestly garments.
For our inaugural episode, we start at the beginning with the book of Genesis, which includes a LOT of famous Bible stories: creation, the Garden of Eden, Cain and Abel, Noah’s ark, Sodom and Gomorrah, the binding of Isaac, Jacob and Esau, Joseph and the coat of many colors, and more—not to mention a bunch of woman-hating bullshit and a heavy focus on circumcision.